Josh was sure the ceiling fan was causing the jackets in the closet to move on their
own, but something in the back of his mind didn’t trust his instincts. He wished there
was a door on the closet under the steps so he could swing his imagination shut, but the
door had been missing as long as Josh could remember. The closet under the steps
was a catchall and an eyesore, but it didn’t seem to bother Mom or Dad—just him.

Another flap of the jacket’s arm convinced Josh to get up and shut off the ceiling fan
despite the relief it provided from the muggy night air. The air stilled as the fan blades
slowed, and the restless jacket in the closet finally relaxed. There was still a movie
droning on in the background, but Josh hadn’t paid attention for so long that he had lost
the plot. The TV clicked through the 34 channels that came with basic cable. Nothing
was on, so Josh landed on Channel 11 and read the scrolling text to see if anything
good was coming up soon—preferably something with an R rating and an N for boobs.
Mom and Dad had been in bed long enough now that it was safe to be a careful pervert.
He just had to be ready to flip the channels at the slightest noise coming from the
hallway by Mom and Dad’s room. Josh waited and read the ratings carefully, only to be
disappointed. Skinamax looked promising, but the alluring title said it wouldn’t start for
another two hours.

Josh flipped it back to the movie he had been watching, and his eyes returned to the
closet to make sure he didn’t notice an out-of-place cape. The old busybody’s warning
from that morning still sounded fresh in his mind:

“If you keep killing my birds, Mr. Nobody’s gonna get you. Once you’ve crossed my
line… his line, you can’t stop him. You might even see Mr. Nobody coming, but it won’t
matter ‘cos if he’s after you, it’s too late. His black cape covers his eyes, but he doesn’t
need them ‘cos he uses his huge phallic nose to sniff out little shits like you. And if
you’re too much trouble, he will just set free the two little toadies he keeps under his
cape. Those two minions from hell would make quick work of you. Then, once he has
you cornered, his tail will slink out from under his cape, wrap around you, and pull you
inside the depths of his cape for his toadies to play with. From there, who knows what
happens to you? But one thing is for damn sure: you won’t be killing my birds anymore.”

​

She was right. Josh had been killing birds, but in his mind, it was more his older friend
Ryan’s fault. Ryan was the one who first took Josh on a “hunt.” They filled their first
grocery bag full of dead birds in no time. Ryan taught him to collect them so people in
the neighborhood didn’t have a bunch of dead birds to prove what they had been up to.
Then, after a bag was full, Ryan showed him the storm drain that he had been using to
dispose of the bodies. By the end of the first month, there must have been twenty bags
full of birds in the drain—or more. Now, a boring spring and a slow start to summer later,
there had been many more deposits into the storm drain—too many to count.

​​​

After that, it was too easy to go outside feeling bored and, before long, find himself
hiding in the bushes with his BB gun, waiting for a target. He never intended to kill birds;
it just sort of happened. But after this latest warning from the neighbor hag, which he
knew was BS, Josh might take a break from killing birds and find something else to do.
Plus, he still felt bad about the pretty robin and her nest of babies.

The open closet and the now-motionless jacket teased him from under the steps at the
opposite side of the room. Josh didn’t feel like watching it anymore because it
exhausted his mind and his eyes. The TV clicked off, and Josh went upstairs to his
room where there was no closet without a door.

Josh considered sneaking out his window like he did most nights. It was easy to jump
onto the cellar doors from the roof by his bedroom and sneak around his neighborhood
to find something to do. However, the image of a caped and hooded Mr. Nobody with
his huge dick nose kept him hiding in his room. The stupid old lady had really gotten in
his head.

His bed sat empty, looking inviting to his overtaxed mind. Josh put on his headphones
and stripped down to his boxers. He tried to close his eyes and relax, but every few
seconds, his eyes flipped open to check the dark corners of his room and then to his
window. It had to be the guilt of killing the birds. The pretty robin and her babies in the
nest came to mind: the bad shot, the flailing, the bleeding, the hesitation to put her out
of her misery, the nest of babies chirping in the tree he knew she lived in…the warning
from the old lady. Flashes of the nest and the aftermath flickered in his imagination and
teased him to a restless sleep—a sleep accompanied by a shrill warning.

“You may as well pluck that nest from the tree and kill the babies too; they’re all but
dead on their own. I saw what you did to their poor mother,” the old lady started on her
latest dreamed-up threat.

Her shrill voice echoed in his nightmares until it woke him up.

It felt like it had only been a few minutes, and Josh was already opening his eyes to a
fabric coffin. He pulled the blankets down from over his head. The cold air hit the puddle
of sweat he was lying in, making him feel like he had just done a polar plunge like one
of the insane old people he saw on TV. Goosebumps raced across his skin. Josh
grabbed his blue jeans and a fresh shirt to keep the air off him so he could warm up.

The house was already empty. Mom and Dad left for work early, and since it was
summer, they trusted him to fend for himself. Josh skipped breakfast and went straight
into the yard to warm up in the sun. It was still pretty early for the kids off school for the
summer to be out doing anything, but after the sun worked its magic, Josh took a walk
around the neighborhood to see if anyone was out doing anything. He was already
bored.

​​​

There was the park, which was full of annoying summer rec kids, or the river downtown
and hanging out at The Rocks—possibly even a stop at the porn cave. He never did see
a boob last night on TV, so that itch still needed scratching.

As Josh walked past the park, he watched the dorky summer rec kids playing sports
and hanging out at the playground equipment. Part of him was so bored he wished he
was a dork too and had signed up for something—probably baseball. Josh took the butt
of the BB gun and swung it like a bat. Maybe next summer.

Josh took the shortcut that cut across the parks edge and through the woods to the
huge boulders that lined the riverbank. The high school kids all called it The Rocks. It
was a mostly safe place to get away from adults and do things kids shouldn’t be doing.
The BB gun’s silver bullets rattled as Josh bounced over the rough trail. He told himself
he only brought the BB gun for protection, but Josh knew it was just an excuse. A BB
gun wouldn’t slow down a mountain lion or a pervert. He brought it to kill birds—not that
he wanted to; it was just a habit at this point.

The rocks were vacant. It was probably too early for high schoolers to be awake after
drinking and doing whatever the older kids did at night. Josh wondered if it was going to
be like that for him next year when he started high school. Probably not. If he couldn’t
find anyone to hang out with during the day, he doubted he would find anyone at night.
Today, he just wished he was busy doing anything but being bored. There was still at
least a week before any of his friends got back from the real vacations they took every
summer.

 

His own Mom and Dad had enough money to take him on vacations. They just never
seemed to have the time to do it. Their real estate business took most of that, and their
romantic and social lives took what was left. Josh was glad his mom and dad weren’t
divorced like a lot of kids’ parents, but sometimes they were so saccharine together that
it was sickening. He was mostly irritated that all that lovey-dovey crap didn’t lead to a
brother at some point—or hell, even a sister. Then he wouldn’t be stuck alone so much.

Josh noticed all the trash the older kids left behind at The Rocks, and amongst the litter,
he saw a few good-sized cigarette butts. Josh spent a few minutes scouring through the
rest of the boulders, picking out the best butts. He ripped the filters off the good ones
and took the couple of drags that were left on each.

Coughing filled the woods for ten minutes.

Now that his head was swimming and feeling like he was going to puke, Josh had to get
up and walk around. He grabbed his BB gun and made his way down the riverbank. His
head spun faster when he started walking. Josh liked it.

​​​

A chirping from his side of the river got his attention, and before Josh even knew what
he was doing, a pop of his BB gun rang out in the quiet patch of woods.

The blackbird fell from the top of the reeds and splashed into the river in the shallow
water on the bank. It flapped its wings in the water which was turning pink around it.
Within a few seconds, it was over. Like every time before, while the bird was dying, Josh
was full of regret, but when the flapping stopped, his heart started racing with
excitement. It was a mix of emotions that were dirty and satisfying. One thing it wasn’t
was boring.

Josh sprinted back to the pile of trash at The Rocks, remembering the grocery bag he
had seen earlier. He had to follow Ryan’s rules or risk getting in trouble again. Once
back at the riverbank Josh fished the blackbird’s body out and put it in the bag. More
blackbirds called out up ahead. Josh knew most of his day was now planned.

By the time he reached where the river intersected the main street of downtown, the
grocery bag was heavy, and so was his conscience. Now that the excitement of the hunt
was over, Josh knew he had to get rid of the evidence as soon as possible. He snuck
back toward his house and the storm drain, where Ryan showed him how to hide the
shame.

The woods were quiet on the way. Not a single bird made a noise. Not one happy chirp.
Josh wondered if they were starting to recognize him and see him as a threat or if he
had killed so many that there were none left.

A lump in his throat surprised him. The pretty robin and her babies—they weren’t alone
in their suffering. Josh wondered how many bird families he had destroyed. His eyes
watered, and for a minute, Josh felt like crying. He hefted the bag of dead birds in his
hand, too ashamed to look down at it.

He looked around the woods to make sure nobody was watching him cry and dried his
eyes. Josh knew right then that this would be the last hunt. He didn’t care if Ryan
thought it was cool or not. Maybe he would just go to the park tomorrow and see if the
summer rec nerds would let him join the baseball team; it was only a couple of weeks
into practice anyway.

Feeling insecure and stupid, Josh snuck his way to the storm drain up the street from
his house. He dashed from bush to bush, took the alleys, and hid behind buildings when
he heard cars coming. Finally, the exposed drain was in sight. Josh slinked up behind
the fence and slid between the bushes and the post to where he could reach the intake
pipe. He pushed the bag into the hole and met resistance. He pulled the bag back out
and looked into the open end of the pipe. To his horror, it was stuffed full of bags. Were
they all from him? Josh hadn’t realized how many bags full of dead birds he had stuffed
into the drain. The lump in his throat returned, and his eyes teared up again.

​​​

Josh snapped a branch off the bush beside him and pushed it into the pipe, hoping to
make room for one last bag. The smell coming from the pipe was awful. His stomach
churned as he poked the stick into the bags. He could feel the bodies squish as they
were in various stages of decomposition, and some of the bodies were now mush. The
stick made sick squishing and sucking sounds as he plunged it in over and over. Then,
when he thought there was enough room, he picked up the last ever bag of dead birds,
ready to conceal it in the pipe.

“What the hell are you up to over there?” a familiar screeching voice called out a few
feet behind Josh.

“AAAAHHHHH!” Josh screamed.

“What is that?” the old neighbor lady asked, snatching Josh up and ripping the bag from
his hand. She opened it, and her jaw dropped. “More birds?”

Josh was speechless and only stood there, mouth open, just like her.

The old lady reached back and let loose a slap, which caught Josh on his jaw and made
his head start to spin again—no cigarette butts needed. Then she peered into the
exposed pipe that Josh had been kneeling over.

“What the hell have you done? Are those all dead birds in that drain? Why would you kill
so many of my birds?” Her eyes watered like Josh’s had moments ago.

“I’m sorry; it was the last time, really. I was just bored.” The shock from being caught
and slapped was secondary to his guilt. “I won’t do it again. I felt bad, and I just wan—”

“Oh, you were bored, huh, and now you feel bad? I think you feel bad ‘cos you got
caught, not because you have a heart. I’ve warned you before, too many times, and
now it’s too late. But don’t you worry yourself too much you little shit. You won’t be
bored for much longer, although you ARE going to feel really, really bad.”

“I am too sorry… What are you going to do to me?” Josh was scared she would call his
parents at work or, worse, the cops—or worse yet….

“Me?! I’m not going to do anything. I never was. It isn’t me you have to worry about.
Your only worry should be Mr. Nobody and his toadies,” the old woman said with a wry
grin that chased away her sadness.

Josh backpedaled through the bushes and his neighbor’s yard. He was running as fast
as he could back toward his house. The BBs in his gun were rattling like crazy. He was
back on his porch within a few seconds. He pulled the lattice away from the side of the
railing and slid his BB gun back into its hiding spot. Josh told himself it was the last time
he was going to need it anyway since his hunting days were over. He still felt bad
tucking away his trusty friend for the last time.

​​​

Gravel crunched under tires that were coming his way from down the block. Josh looked
up, and his heart stopped. It was a cop car. His mind whirled, and before he could
rationalize a response, he was running. The old lady said she wasn’t going to do
anything, but after seeing the failure of her story in stopping the birds from dying again,
she probably took the only option she had left and called the cops on him. Josh didn’t
blame her.

Josh didn’t know where he was running to or if the cop was even chasing him, but he
didn’t slow down until he was back at the river in the woods. He figured he could hide
there until the sun went down if he had to. By then, he was sure the cops would find
something better to do and lose interest in him. As he neared The Rocks, he could hear
older kids talking. The teenagers must have woken up and were back drinking wine
coolers and smoking cigarettes. Josh didn’t feel like running into anyone or getting
beaten up, so he walked toward the bridge where he could hide until things cooled off.

Thankfully, underneath the bridge was vacant. Josh found himself a good-sized rock to
sit on and started tossing pebbles into the river. He wished he hadn’t been so dumb and
killed all those birds because now he was stuck avoiding the cops and his house all day.
Plus, he was starving since he skipped breakfast. His pile of pebbles was exhausted, so
he laid back on the rock and thought about summer rec baseball. A cool breeze cutting
under the bridge and across the water felt nice. The sun was blazing, and the air under
the bridge must have been close to a hundred degrees without the breeze. The
splashing of the river and thoughts of joining baseball tomorrow filled his head. Josh lay
on the rock, daydreaming of something to do.

Somehow, Josh fell asleep. He didn’t know how long he had been sleeping, but
something splashing in the river woke him up. Josh blinked a couple of times and
looked for where the splashing was coming from. He looked upriver and saw someone
in a dark jacket marching waist-deep down the center of the channel. Despite how odd
this looked, Josh tried not to stare. He averted his gaze, but his eyes strained against
their periphery to get a better look. Why would anyone be wearing a jacket when it was
so hot out? Why was he walking down the middle of the river? Josh turned slightly to
get a better look. The stranger was closer now. His jacket hood was pulled low over his
eyes, and a large, phallic nose stuck out in front of it. Josh’s eyes were drawn to the
back of the jacket, which flowed behind him in the river. It was long, like a cape. The
back of the cape lifted from the water briefly, and Josh could’ve sworn he had seen a
tail. Josh’s head was now turned directly toward the stranger.

Portions of the warning from the old lady echoed in his mind: “I’m not going to do
anything. Mr. Nobody is…”

Josh was sure it was just a weirdo walking in the river, but he wasn’t about to stick
around and wait for him to get any closer. He jumped from his rock perch and ran. He

started toward the safety of his house, but as soon as he reached the road, he saw
another cop car. Were they still looking for him? The whole town suddenly felt
threatening. The only way back uptown that avoided the roads, the hag, and the weirdo
in the cape was back through the woods. Josh sprinted across the street and into the
woods on the other side. He wound down the familiar path, constantly checking over his
shoulder. His feet crunched through the pine needles and dry grass as he made his way
to where the woods ran out near the park and his neighborhood.

Suddenly, something grabbed his foot, and Josh toppled forward.

“Jesus!” Josh yelled.
He looked around frantically before realizing he had tripped on his shoelace. Feeling
stupid, Josh brushed the pine needles off and knelt to tie his shoe.

Beside him was a rustling in the brush, followed by some quick little footsteps and
grunting noises. Josh looked in that direction, but as soon as he did, a rush of footsteps
came from behind him. He felt surrounded and chased as he stumbled to his feet,
nearly tripping again.

The porn cave was close.

Josh altered his course off the beaten path and went through the thickest part of the
woods. It was the first place he could think of to hide. Nobody outside of Ryan and a
couple of young perverts like him even knew there was a porn cave. Josh hoped to find
some safety in the cave and, possibly, a lurking pervert so he wouldn’t be alone.

Josh ran to the small cave entrance and shuffled his feet to make some noise, so he
didn't interrupt or walk in on something private. Regrettably, the cave was empty, except
for Ryan’s stash of porn magazines behind the rocks at the back. But that wasn’t why
Josh was here—at least not this time.

Josh thought he could still hear the weird grunting sounds and the little footsteps. Josh
tiptoed to the back of the cave where he tucked himself behind the old couch Ryan
hauled in there last summer. The musty fabric smelled so bad that it almost made him
gag. He thought of all the stains left on the cushions only inches from his face. He held
his breath, listening for the grunting or heavy footsteps from leather boots. Then, in the
quiet of the cave, Josh could hear footsteps again. They were getting closer. Somehow,
whoever was chasing him knew about the porn cave. He could hear them at the mouth
of the cave, slowly making their way toward him through the dimly lit space. Josh closed
his eyes and ducked down as small as he could get, pressing his body tightly against
the ground.

“Hey, who is that?” a timid voice called out.

​

“AAAAHHHHH!” was Josh’s reply.

Josh flipped over the top of the couch, ready to sprint to safety, and caught a look at the
attacker. It was a kid from the grade below him.

“What the hell are you doing back there, you creep? Did you find a worm hole or what?”
the kid teased, implying that Josh would both screw an earthworm’s breathing hole and
that his dick would fit in it. “Or are you waiting for your boyfriend?”

“No,” Josh said, deflated. He felt stupid, and now this kid was going to spread rumors
that he was being a weirdo in the porn cave. There was an urge to start a fight and
prove he wasn’t a creep, but he was too freaked out. “Hey, did you see any kind of
weird guy in a cape or something like that out there?” Josh motioned with his hand to
the woods outside the cave.

“Hahaha. What the hell? Why don’t you get lost you peckerhead? You’re gonna miss
your boyfriend in a cape and be late for your date.”

“Fuck off,” Josh said and brushed past the kid.

Mr. Nobody was all but forgotten after the shot to his pride, but that didn’t stop Josh
from sprinting out of the woods and then back to his house. He gave the storm drain
and the old lady’s house a wide berth as he snuck down the alleys toward his house. By
the time he got to his back door and slid the hidden key into the knob, his nerves were
shot.

The house was stifling, so Josh made his way around, opening the windows and turning
on the ceiling fans. The closet under the steps caught his eye again, and he stopped to
make sure none of the jackets were capes. He strained his ears to hear if there was any
movement from deep inside the closet. Just to assure himself that nobody was in there.

Josh was shocked to see it was already almost 6 p.m. He must have been at the river
for longer than he thought. The note from Mom on the fridge let Josh know that she and
Dad were going out for dinner and drinks. It was typical for a Friday—and Saturday, for
that matter. Sometimes, Josh thought they were so in love that they didn’t even notice
him.

The Tupperware full of spaghetti had never looked better. Josh heated it up in the
microwave, and while the green numbers counted down, Josh secured the house. Josh
didn’t want to be alone but stupid vacations were making that his reality. Usually, he
would wander the neighborhood looking for a kickball game, hide and seek, truth or
dare—anything really. But with the cops looking for him, the stupid story from the old
hag, and the weirdo at the river Josh didn’t feel safe outside.

​

He ate his spaghetti and washed the dishes. There were a couple of chores to do that
he had skipped that morning, but he figured he might as well get them done. He started
the laundry first, then wiped down the counters. He saved vacuuming for last, but as
soon as the machine started, Josh knew he would be sweeping. Something about the
loud vacuum and the focus on doing a good job made him feel vulnerable.

The curtains flapped around from a breeze, and the petrichor was thick. Josh knew this
meant relief from the heat was on the way as he finished his chores. The rain started
falling heavily a few minutes later, and the sun was well below the horizon for the night.
The moving air made the jackets in the closet start moving around unnaturally again.

Josh’s focus was split between watching the closet under the stairs and the channels he
was busy flipping through. He was lying prone on the couch. The cool breeze from the
window felt amazing on his back, quickly drying the sweat that kept beading up. His
eyes darted to the closet again. Nobody was there.

After flipping channels for a bit longer, a movie worth watching finally started—plus, it
had an N in the censor warning. Josh divided his time between watching the closet and
waiting for a boob on the TV. The arm of the jacket in the closet seemed like it was
growing and reaching out from the void under the steps. Every time he looked at it, it
seemed to be a few inches longer and closer. Slowly creeping out of the closet toward
him.

Josh could hear a zipper being undone in the movie—surely a sexy blouse—but his
eyes were locked on the imaginary jacket monster in the closet. Was there a raspy
breathing sound in the closet now too? No, it must be sexy breathing in the movie. The
zipper noise continued, and Josh tore his eyes away from the closet, hoping to catch
the N in time—only when he turned around, there was no N, no boobs; nobody was
even messing with a zipper in the movie, it was just a dumb car chase.

Confused, Josh assessed the situation and looked at the jacket monster to make sure it
wasn’t him making the loud breathing sounds. The zipper noise wasn’t coming from the
movie or the closet. It was coming from behind him. Josh looked over his shoulder and
glanced at the window.

There was just enough light from the streetlight to illuminate a dark figure standing right
behind him on the porch outside the window. The stranger's eyes were hidden behind a
dark hood. A giant phallic nose protruded from the hood’s darkness, testing the air,
zeroing in on Josh. A reddish-tinted fingernail on its right hand was busy popping the
storm window’s wires like guitar strings, slowly making a hole large enough to fit itself
through. Already, the screen was cut almost large enough for the hulking figure to step
right into the living room with him. Josh only had a fraction of a second to respond.

​

He was too frozen to even scream at first. Thankfully, his legs reacted, and he jumped
from the couch and sprinted toward the back of the house and the phone. Josh only
made it five giant steps through the house when something caught his legs and sent
him tumbling. Josh’s first instinct was to check his shoelaces, which were still tied from
his earlier tumble. He looked behind him and saw the cord from the lamp had been
pulled tight and tied off to the recliner.

Ahead of him, in the darkness of the kitchen, Josh could hear a familiar grunting that
now almost sounded like chortling, followed by a series of quick little footsteps.
Lightning flashed and illuminated the room long enough for Josh to see two figures as
tall as five-year-olds but with the builds of heavy-set adults. It was Mr. Nobody’s
toadies—it had to be. But they were too large, even for their size, to hide beneath Mr.
Nobody’s cape. Not unless there was more room than Josh could imagine under the
dark, heavy fabric. The two figures disappeared into the dark kitchen. The basement
door opened and closed in the darkness. Followed by thunderous little footsteps running
down the basement stairs.

Josh’s mind reeled.

Heavy footsteps crashed onto the floor behind him in the living room. Mr. Nobody had
made his way in. Josh thought of the hole in the screen and realized he must have
made it big enough for his two little minions first. He let them in to set the trap with the
cord before letting himself in after the trap was sprung.

There was a loud click from the basement, and the house went dark. The toadies must
have flipped the breaker.

Now in pitch black, Josh was forced to run upstairs since the threats were coming from
both exits of his house. His feet pounded the wooden steps as he flew up, feeling like
every bad trope from every horror movie ever. People who ran upstairs died. His room
was at the end of the hallway, but Josh knew from experience that kicking a hole
through the cheap hollow-core door was too easy. The hole from his tantrum last
summer was proof. He wasn’t safe up here but had nowhere else to go.

The heavy, boot-clad footsteps were marching up the stairs now.

“STOPPPP! Why are you doing this?” Josh knew the answer.

He ran to the end of the hallway and slammed his flimsy bedroom door shut behind him.
His fingers searched the top of his dresser for the butter knife he kept to semi-lock his
door when he was being a pervert. After an eternity, his fingers found what they were
looking for. Josh jammed the butter knife into the molding around the door to prevent it
from being easily opened. Mr. Nobody would have to kick the molding off—or kick
through the cheap door.

​

The boot steps pounded down the hallway right to his door, where they stopped, and
something let out a loud, audible whiff. Josh could tell it was Mr. Nobody’s long, fleshy
nose testing the air, making sure this was the right door to kick down.

“Stop, please, leave me alone! Who are you?” Josh asked, hoping his pleading would
help.

“NOBODY.” The answer came simply and made Josh’s muscles feel so tight it was hard
to move.

Josh wanted to plead more, but the terror of hearing Mr. Nobody speak again was too
much to consider. He looked at his window and realized he wasn’t trapped. He tipped
his dresser over in front of the door to buy a few more seconds and bolted for the
window. He pushed the screen up and slid through the small opening. The rain pelted
his eyes when his head popped outside, and his vision blurred.

CRASH!

The door began to splinter behind him.

Josh kicked his feet against the air and pushed himself the rest of the way onto the roof.
Lightning cracked, and thunder temporarily drowned out the sound of his bedroom door
failing against the weight of Mr. Nobody. Without turning around to see inside his dark
bedroom, Josh slid down the roof to dangle from the edge so he could land on the cellar
doors, which opened from below ground and took 3 feet off his drop. His weight shifted
over the edge and he let go. As soon as his feet hit the top of the cellar doors, they
exploded open beneath him. The force of the opening doors sent Josh tumbling into the
yard, which, for some reason, was full of water. It was at least 8 inches deep.

Josh splashed and clumsily scrambled to his feet. He could hear grunts and footsteps
splashing around in the darkness enveloping him. He swung his arms in wide arcs,
hoping to connect with one of them, but only slapped the air and a few drops of rain.

Running out of options, the only thing Josh could think of was to keep running like he
had all day—this time to the neighbors house for help. Hopefully, they weren’t on
vacation too. Lightning flashed and illuminated his yard, and the flood consuming it.
Josh waded through the dirty water as fast as he could. The grunts and footsteps and
rain and thunder were all combining to create chaos with his limited senses. It was too
much to process.

Thankfully, the streetlight was still glowing brightly, leading the way. His long legs kept
him out of reach of the toadies, but the flood slowed his pace. Josh could see the light
reflecting off the new river and lake developing on his street and yard. When he got
close to where the curb should be, Josh felt his way with his feet so he didn’t plunge into
the current. He stepped carefully into the flood.

​

Soft little objects started bumping into his legs from all directions. It felt like wherever he
moved, there was something soft waiting to bump into him. Lightning flashed again.

In that instant of illumination, Josh was horrified—not by Mr. Nobody, but by himself.

The entire street was flooded not only with water but hundreds of dead birds. Juncos,
crows, blackbirds, and sparrows floated on the flooded street. Hundreds of them. Some
of the bodies were still in the grocery bags circling the plugged storm drain, which was
doing its best to swallow the bodies.

One victim in the flood stood out in the streetlight and in Josh’s terror. It was the pretty
robin floating by, right in front of him. Only she wasn’t pretty anymore. Her bright orange
plumage was falling from her body and into the current to mix with the rest of his shame.
It left behind a bare chest and the splayed-out wings fatherless and pathetic.

This was all his fault.

Now, with less gusto, Josh stomped across the street and waded through his neighbor’s
front yard. The grunting and splashing of the toadies followed him. Through the storm,
Josh thought he could hear the front door of his house across the street slam shut.

Josh sprinted the last few steps to the neighbor’s front door as the water got shallower.
He didn’t even knock. The knob twisted freely in his hand, and Josh barged into the
house, locking the door behind him with their deadbolt. Josh could see the lights were
on in the back of their house, but he had to make sure he wasn’t being followed before
giving them an explanation for why he burst in uninvited.

There was a window facing his home across the street, so Josh left their mudroom and
went to the living room to look at his front yard.

Both yards were empty, along with the flooded street between the houses. The
streetlight illuminated the hundreds of dead birds and the flood, but neither a toady nor
Mr. Nobody was in sight.

“Hey…” Josh called to the neighbors, who would probably be pissed that he had just
barged into their house. He waited for a second before continuing with his explanation.
“Sorry I just ran in like that, but something is chasing me. I might need you guys to call
the cops.” His eyes were still locked on the front yard outside the window, hoping he
wouldn’t see anything but sins floating on the flood water.

The silence of his neighbor’s house felt heavy. Josh strained his ears but stayed glued
to the window. Then, joined by another flash of lightning, a heavy fabric rustling broke
the silence behind him.

There was an instant where Josh wondered if this was how the pretty robin felt when he
had taken the shitty shot, watched her struggle, and then hesitated before killing her.

​

Josh spun around on his heels. The feeling in his guts told him he deserved this.

Nobody was there.

The rain continued pounding the window but slowed with the sunrise.

​​

***

​

The flood receded before noon the next day. The feathers, the viscera, all gone.
Disappeared by the storm drain, which, at some point during the night, managed to
swallow Josh’s shame whole. The cop car that had followed Josh the day before was
still circling the neighborhood. Only now, it was joined by the concerned voices of
neighbors, which echoed in all the popular hiding places, even the porn cave.

The birds didn’t notice. They were busy chirping away happily in the trees.